- Being teased or called names
- Having false stories spread about you.
- Forced to give up belongings – like money or games
- Threatened over the Internet
- Physically harmed – beat up or put in a locker.
- Friends pressured not to hang out with you.
Children and adolescents may experience these forms of bullying. Bullying creates a power differential that puts the victim in a one down. Bullying affects both the victim and the bully. Victims can experience short-term depression, lose interest in school, and eventually refuse to go to school. Kids who are repeatedly bullied are more susceptible to experiencing depression and decreased self-esteem as adults. Bullies may not develop the appropriate skills to have positive and mutually rewarding adult relationships. Bullies may also be learning habits that may lead to criminal behavior. One way to address bullying is to foster pro-social behavior. Pro-social behavior lessens the power differential and one down that bullying can create.
Parents can promote pro-social behavior by:
- Value and emphasize consideration for others
- Model pro-social behaviors: e.g. adults who comfort and respect will more likely have children do likewise
- Identify pro-social and anti-social behaviors
- Attribute positive social behaviors to the child
- Notice and encourage pro-social behaviors, but don’t overuse external rewards
- Facilitate perspective taking – learning to step into another shoes and try to empathize with them
- Use positive discipline strategies: link reasons with consequences
- Actively lead discussions on pro-social interactions
- Develop projects that foster altruism
- Help children learn positive ways to be proactive and use their words to have their needs met.
Bullying can create many emotions for all involved – shame, guilt, anger, anxiety. As a parent you may be unsure of how to help your child and this uncertainty may lead to a feeling of helplessness. At Equilibria Psychological and Consultation Services, we have experienced therapists that work with children and their families to clarify the reasons behind bullying and develop solutions to address the underlying issues and emotions. Please do not hesitate to contact us at 267-861-3685, Option 1 for more information about how we can help.
